A Poem at Long Last !!

Although I was never a fan of poems I always knew that writing poems was far far more difficult than prose. That’s possibly the reason why I never ventured into poetry (or prose for that matter) other than the odd ones for the school magazine. Anyways I decided to write one for my Mom this Mothers Day and surprisingly it came out to be decent. Posting it here. Please forgive if I made any mistakes with the poetry basics.



This is a story from the yore,
Heard so often, it will make you bore.
But with me you will have to bear,
This one-time you will have to hear.

I speak of a lady able and fair,
Black as the night was her hair.
She came from a land rich and tolerant
Pure of heart she was clever and confident.

In her life came a valiant knight,
Like her, he too was full of light.
The beauty wedded the brilliant knight,
And there future seemed plenteous and bright.

Life was like a fairy tale,
They were together, hearty and hale.
To them were born two tiny tots,
It was another gift from Gods.

But then fate played its dirty game,
Alas, the dark days came.
The knight had to leave for distant lands,
For, his destiny was not in his hands.

It was a challenge that would leave others in tatters,
But she stood up and faced it without jitters.
She held the kids close to her heart,
And gave them wings and made them smart.

All I can do in return is thank from my heart,
For the love she has showered right from the start.
This lady I talk of is my mother dear,
I’ll love her endlessly till my soul stays here.



Love you mom.
P.S. I Love Comments !!!!!!

My Trysts with Beasts and the Like

In this post I intend to unravel before you the mystic and dangerous adventures from my life involving wild, untamed, fatal beasts. Those kinds of adventures where peril awaits you at every step where every shadow is alive and dangerous where every heartbeat leaves a thunderous echo where every second takes a lifetime to crawl by where only the headstrong survive and from where the lucky ones among them emerge. Yes readers today the curtain of secret will fall and the faded pages from the moth-ridden blood scarred books will be thrown open for you. Brace yourself.

Um never mind. This post is all about my dislike of pets especially dogs. Dislike is actually an understatement. My real feeling for dogs would be one of loathing hatred repugnance. Yes sir I’m heavily prejudiced against them (One helluva prejudice too).Allow me to share with you the hilarious (but very horrendous) happening(s) which took place when I was about 12 that led to this aversion. Let me introduce the characters:

1. Yours truly: (*Let me indulge in some self-pampering*) The hero and chief character. Possesses seemingly endless patience. Takes everything with a smile. *crap you know all this already right?*. Only, pampering pets isn’t his pet peeve.

2. My neighbor: The baddie. Smiles limited to lopsided smirk. Tramples the flowers on the road. Hides the cricket balls which fall in his yard (*sob sob*). Does everything in his power to test the hero’s patience. His favorite indulgence was pampering his pup.

3. His dog: The WMD. The filthy means by which he spread his villainies. A mighty german shepherd which was in my view as filthy as his master but truly brainless and a glutton (as if there are dogs which go on diets)

Master and crony were seemingly inseparable and so I wasted no chance whatsoever to hurt the latter. I managed to snare him into traps often and once even managed to make him drink one of em special potions of mine (oh nothing special just a concoction of chilly powder and water). If there was nothing else I could do I would throw a stone and do my victory jig which consisted of a jump in the air a swirl and a shout that resembled whoop. I would remember the “Every Dog Has Its Day” proverb without fail during these little antics of mine but I would pooh-pooh it thinking something along it’s a stupid proverb after all now innit. But then the day came alright. *Okay I concede that some of these actions sound mean and reckless but you should’ve seen what a mean son of a bitch he was*

I was walking back home after a jolly good day at school (Ah those good old days). Spirits were high and I was looking forward to my late evening biking session. I was barely 50 meters away from my home when I spotted him alone. Grinning inwardly I picked up a stone and walked closer. Then to my sheer dismay and shock (It still gives me goose bumps) I saw that the beast was unleashed literally. Somewhere in my head Baha Men broke into Who Let the Dogs Out. But it was drowned out but a husky voice with eerie whispers of vengeance vendetta revenge retaliation blood and the like. A chill ran down my spine and I couldn’t move. Then my brain went on analyze mode. Options

(a)Pull out the 32mm and blow his brains out. *Beep Beep Red Light* Rejected. No gun.

(b)Try throwing the stone. *Beep Beep Red Light* Rejected. No idea of response and if I miss I’m dead.

(c)Try calli……..

At this precise moment he looked up, bared his teeth, gave me a sly grin, growled slightly (unverified) and pounced. Then it was all mayhem. My legs that were rooted to the ground till then started a sprint that would have put Usain Bolt to shame. But he was too fast for me (Darn relative velocity). I could almost sense his brain zeroing in on where to sink those shiny teeth. The distance came down from 5 meters to about 1 in no time, he was airborne, the leather from my bag was cutting into my skin (Okay it wasn’t that was for a dramatic effect) and I was still running. Somewhere between all this commotion (I am not able to identify exactly when), I tripped on a stone and fell and saw him sail over me, those brownish white whiskers brushing against my head. By the time he landed and recovered from the shock that his homing missiles had missed their target I was safely home. Within a second or two the neighbor came running and took the beast and comforted him. I cannot be sure but I think I caught something like “Don’t worry *static* Next chance *static* Get him *static* “.

Anyways things became normal after that except that I added a ‘butt-shaking’ step to my victory jig just to remind him of what he could have had and that I developed a long-lasting bond of hatred with dogs.

Disclaimer: No animals where harmed in writing this blog (except of course for em poor blokes who will drown due to whatever contribution this blog makes to global warming). The author extends his wholehearted support to PETA or whichever climate organization you are from as long as they have skimpy models covered with leaves. All sentences which you found discriminatory towards animals may be considered as mere droplets form the vast ocean that constitutes the author’s imagination. Damn it I’m good at writing these.

End of the reel credits

PETA- for giving us pretty girls to stare at.

Pet owners- for giving us pets to throw stones at (wtf! That was a joke).

The founder of leash-Thank you sir whoever you are.

Usain Bolt- For his celebrity appearance and for running like crazy.

Playlist

Baha Men- Who let the dogs out.

Metallica-Master of Puppets

Metallica-Battery

Metallica-One

Metallica-Overkill

Metallica-Too late Too late

Metallica-Whiplash

Movie dialogue I like: Something serious this time around. This one is from V for Vendetta -“Fairness Justice and Freedom are more than just words they are perspectives”

Love ?

It’s after much deliberation that I decided to finally pen this one (Heck don’t smile I’m serious this time around!). Mostly as I was afraid that it would turn into something absurd and lusty (even vulgar!). Now that would hurt me a lot because the whole idea of love, although alien, is something I hold very close to my heart. But then from the inside of my heart *Author deceives himself on reading the line again and promptly puts his hand inside his shirt to see if something like that* I really had to write something for all the beautiful seniors leaving college this May nay. Burp! The emo stuff ends here and the show begins!!

Disclaimer: The author does not have a girlfriend (The address for sending applications for the aforementioned post will be provided on demand, however the author is contemplating an auction of the post on e-bay.) and believes firmly that he has not experienced true love yet. He states categorically that any resemblance of any girl mentioned in the following post to anyone’s girlfriend is purely coincidental (Well the author might have spotted her from faraway but that isn’t the author’s fault now is it!). No claims or lawsuits in this matter will be appreciated (Comments are welcome though!). The author has drawn inspiration from all the movies and songs he has seen and heard till date to write the following post. Hence any similarity might not really be coincidental (But gee you can’t sue me as there is no ad-sense or money making here). *thass puss bruss chuss* Oh that was the sound of the conditionality clause being read out. Thank you!



What is true love? A question asked since time immemorial (Recently an aspiring Archaeologist, yours truly of course, discovered traces of the question in question from Neanderthal-era texts.) by an unbeknown number of us meek homosapiens who unfortunately didn’t get the chance to experience the much hyped occurrence or were simply unlucky to not have recognized it *The author pauses and thinks of that line and shakes his head. He mentally makes a note to never think about him being in that category*. I believe that I haven’t experienced true love just yet. To be honest I’ve had my fair share of oh-my-god tomato-in-the-mouth bulging-eyes moments with many girls and crushes with a few such as her (that’s my fav pic of hers). Sometimes you get a look, a nod or even a smile and sometimes you don’t. Sometimes those pretty faces remain with you for a day or two and sometimes they don’t. Then another girl comes along and the sequence continues *The author advises all those smart-asses who were smiling to themselves thinking that was love to get a cold shower and drink a hot coffee.The author smiles smugly after reading his own lines* . I feel cheated for not having been given the real deal. But as they say in The Shawshank Redemption “Hope is not a bad thing.” In the meantime however I’ve deduced exactly how I’m going to fall in love. *The author rummages around and finds the pop music DVD puts it on and gets to work*.


I am a self-confessed movie addict and I listen to many celluloid inspired singers as well hence I’m glad to announce that very unsurprisingly I have come to believe in love at first sight! and that there is someone somewhere destined to be mine. When I meet her I would know and so would she. Our eyes would meet and Ricky Martin, no wait not Ricky Martin, that would bring in a whole new dimension nay? Make that Enrique Iglesias instead. Yes Enrique would sing in the background
I can be your hero babe
I can kiss away the paint (the makeup on your cheeks i mean)
I will stand by you forever
Although at other belles I will stare
It would be absolutely picture perfect like the scene from The Godfather when Micheal Corleone meets Apollonia, like when Wall-E meets Eve. The glowering Sun would be shrouded by a blanket of silver clouds. The scene would take a light-bluish tint and the rest of the world would freeze momentarily. The air would be electric (Um yea you will be able to hear static-crackles) and then the heavens would open up drenching us! And that would be that! *The author re-reads what he has written and breaks down to convulsive and hysteric laughter*

I dedicate this one in general to all the seniors leaving us this summer and in particular to one whose absence I will probably mourn for a month (or so) although none of them stand a 1 in 1000 chance of reading this one.*Those who think they know the name of that senior are humbly requested by the author to stfu and others are requested to shout out their guesses!!*.

Keep hoping for true love and leave me a comment if you like it. I absolutely love comments you see.


End of the reel credits
To em pretty belles who are the heart and soul of this post.
To all those movies, songs and books which supplemented the lions share of it all.
e-bay and ad-sense for making celebrity appearances.

Play list
James Blunt- You Are Beautiful
Eric Clapton-Wonderful Tonight
John Mayer-Your Body Is A Wonderland
Etta James-At Last
Green Day-Wake Me Up When September Ends
Celine Dion-My Heart Will Go On
Abba-Honey Honey!(from Mamma Mia! Must listen)

Movie Dialogue I Like:
Another one from Bond. Tell me when you are fed up of Bond. This one is from Thunderball.
Money Penny: James how will you recognize her.
Bond: Couldn’t miss she has two moles on her left thigh.